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Why is it that kids meals come so unbelievably hot? Don't these people know that you're working hard to prevent certain catastrophe on a moment by moment basis and if your child has to wait one second longer to eat than necessary, she's going to loose it, not to mention her irate father who's going to be somewhere between keeping his composure, blowing wildly to make things edible and looking around for the imbecile who put the plate of molten lava chicken fingers and french fries in front of his four year old and then walked away like it was nothing! While I may debate it sometimes, I do prefer to keep my child's tongue in working order rather than have it wrapped in gauze for the better part of her childhood.

Ode to a Snowgirl

At just a tad past 5:45 this morning, I learned that we had a snow day today. Turned out to be a good thing too, as the snow came down for hours and turned everything up-side-down. People on the East coast laugh at us, but on our side of the continent, we're just not really set up for snow. We try (sending out deicing trucks, sand, etc.), and we talk a good game, but our corner of the world just has too many pea brains who don't know how to drive in snow and ice (but do anyway), as if knowing really helps much anyway.

So, my daughter and I played in the snow - eventually building a real peach of a snowman - or snowgirl, come to find out. We labored for about an hour (though I wouldn't know - time stops when it's a snow day) and eventually erected a modestly shaped, five foot classic. Rocks for eyes, a yearling potato for a nose, filberts for buttons, plant stakes for arms, pink hat, scarf and gloves, and 'presto' a snowgirl.

My daughter was so proud. My youngest was mad at us for not taking her out with us, but she rebounded. We took pictures. Admired it from several angles. Inspired the neighbors to attempt their own. Kept an eye on it from inside the toasty confines of our living room. Surely, we knew that it wouldn't last forever, but little did we know.

About 10:00 tonight, I heard kids playing outside. A little late, I thought, so I went to take a look (I'm such a mean old man). There, where our snowgirl stood just a short time before, lay the rubble of icy orbs and accoutrements (my wife wisely had me take in the more valuable add-ons a few hours before).

All that was left was a heap of lifeless snow. My wife and I went out, and as I stepped closer, my temper rose. We held our tongues, staring at the kids playing, not knowing if they were the guilty party or not (though they quickly headed for the hills). Dejected and disgusted, all I could do was kick at the powder, crush the leftovers with my feat and think to myself 'what kind of demonic, low-life degenerate knocks down a little girl's snowgirl?'.

What has the world has come to?