"You want fries with that?"

My wife has already deemed this the perfect blog moment - and she doesn't 'get' the whole blogging thing. She understands it, but the question to her is 'why'?

Anyway... we all decided to go to the Children's Expo this afternoon after meeting up for lunch at the mall. We heard about coupons for $2 off admission available at McDonalds. I hate McDonalds. That shouldn't matter, but it does in this story, even if just a little bit. Again, anyway... I stopped by McDonalds on my way to meet them at the expo, saw the coupons sitting there on the counter. I thought I'd be a complete schmoe if I just grabbed the coupons and didn't order anything, so I said the first thing that came to mind, "Three medium fries." They're the only thing besides a Sausage McMuffin that I can stomach at McDonalds. Immediately, I remember that we were going to meet for lunch, but I figured the three of us could snack on them on our way to lunch. When I got the bag, it was filled with fries. Evidently, the medium is larger than I remember.

I paid for my fries, and quickly began to look for someone to give them too. I knew that my wife would consider this a big mistake in light of the fact that we were going to lunch anyway, that the coupons were free for the asking, and that there was way too much for the three of us even if we weren't going to lunch. I couldn't find anyone and began wondering if I could make it downtown to give them to a homeless person and still make it back to the mall in time. I decided not to risk it.

I made it to the mall with about 15 minutes to wait. So, I decided to conduct a little human experiment. I sat on a bench, munching on fries and waited for a break in the foot traffic. When it came, I got up from the bench and walked away, leaving my bag o' fries behind. Fresh, hot fries for the taking. And so the experiment began. I lurked many feet away from the target and watched as several people passed the bench. Some passed by with no attention to the conspicuous bag without an owner. A few would take notice but keep walking. Fewer still, but much more interestingly, would slow their pace long enough to peek over the edge of the bag but to no avail, until... a young ice skater walked by the bag and peek into it. She looked around and walked away. I was disappointed until she came back moments later with two other skating buddies. The three of them poked at the bag, touched the sides to discover that it was still hot, conferred with each other and... uggh... walked away. I was so close. I thought for sure that the evidence of my blunder would be gone.

I answered my wife’s call on the cell phone and went to the parking garage to meet them. I couldn't keep the secret and we walked by the bench to investigate only to find the bag gone. I had missed the conclusion of my experiment I'd worked so hard for. I'd like to think that someone came by, saw the steaming bag of fries and thought, "Hey, free fries." and went on their merry way without a second thought. But the mall janitor probably came by and threw them away. I'll stick with the first dream rather than the probably reality.

The perfect blog moment… The fries cost me $5.05. A bit over a dollar more than the two $2 off couplons were worth in the first place.