Don't Forget to Breathe...

It's strange how the cares of this world infiltrate so much of life. From 'to do' lists, home improvement and bookkeeping to cleaning and career concerns - I'm likely to through myself a pitty party most days and be more than a bit of a grouch because of it. I hate it when I play the victim.

I feel like I'm holding my breath, waiting for the chance to exhale.

Procrastination feels like exhaling, but it really isn't. It's just taking in more air and holding it with the rest. Doing other, inconsequential things instead of the meaningful things I know I should be doing feels like exhaling too, but it isn't. It's just gulping - taking tiny breaths on top of it all and puffing them out as quick as they come in - it seems like it should count as breathing, but it doesn't satisfy like a nice full exhale. Meanwhile, I turn blue.

For some reason I'm not sure about, I'm convinced that I'm the only one who feels this way, though I know I'm not. Along with this comes the realization that I ought to feel grateful that I have money to pay taxes on, a house to work on, a career to be concerned about. In and of itself, that should help, as long as I stay conscious of it.

I guess I can only do what I can do, so long as I do it - keeping in mind that life is a gift.

For those in my life who have to deal with me - I'll try not to be overly cranky or overly lazy. I'm sure I'll be anxious, sometimes sad or angry or both, often times busy - hopefully productive and probably in need of a gentle, supportive push. Through it all, I'll strive to keep perspective and remember who I am.

For those who don't have to deal with me - lucky you.