Customer Service movie

Sappy? Sure. True? I dunno, probably. Worth watching? I think so.
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A New Beginning

Today was the first day of school.

A day of new beginnings. A day of nervousness, skeptisism, school supplies, discovering each other, chaos, best behavior, new names and new faces. It's a hard day and an easy day - for the opposite reasons that other days are easy and hard.

Lots to iron out, to remember and, oh yes, teach.

I wish I had the time or energy to say it more eloquently - but I do think I love teaching.

Alive and Kickin'

Wow - I can't believe it's been so long since my last blog entry. It's not like life's been boring, I guess I've just been so busy living it that reflection has been a luxury. Good thing I'm not getting paid by the post.

So, as a toe in the water, a warm-up if you will...

10 things I could have writen about in the last 10 months.

1. Life is best when you have people around who share appreciation, care, laughter, challenge and interest rather than cut-throat-competition, condesention, unrealistic expectations, crooked motives and lies.
2. Excedrin is, without a doubt, my new pain medication of choice!
3. The birth of a second daughter, while multidimentionally impactful, stressful and difficult - is also a multidimentionally beautiful blessing.
4. You'd think my house was just sitting there for the last year, but it turns out, it was earning quite a bit of money being so lazy. (If you're renting, do everything you can to buy!)
5. Teaching Third grade isn't so bad afterall!
6. You can hide alot of painting mistakes with faux finishing techniques.
7. Nothing is worth trading your soul for.
8. My wife is amazing!
9. After seven summers of looking for a job, even a dog can take the summer off knowing he has a place to go back to.
10. Life is crazy. Life is busy. Life is stressful. Life is less than fun somedays. But, life is good!

ps - I agree with the comment left on my last post - not that the post was boring, but that the blog is... er, um... was... I think...

Honesty

OK, first, let's get this out of the way. No excuses for the gap in my posts, only reasons. The last weeks of school, a busy summer full of family, home improvement projects and job hunting are my only rationale. As always, it's not because I haven't had anything to say - I've just actually been saying it, in person, rather than virtually.

For example, when a fellow teacher yells at me in front of a parent after not telling me what time we were to meet, instead of venting here for all of you, I told her what I would have written - that I didn't want anything to do with her until she managed an apology. Since she doesn't manage an apology often, I knew what I was in for. Now, after what I'm sure was political pressure from her, I'm looking for another teaching job.

In that vein, and following several interviews for a teaching job this summer, I'm faced with the question - is honesty, warts and all, akin to professional suicide? Is that the world we live in? Need I gloss myself over in an effort to get a job? That's not the marriage I want, it's not the relationship I want with my children, family or friends. Sure, I could - and have - but why can't we aspire to a more genuine path without fear of reprisal, loss of popularity, or anything else.

When my family faces 'underemployment' and all that comes with it - is it wrong of me to add to the pressure by being forthright, having integrity, and stating facts plainly. Does my idealism get in the way of the realism we face? I really hope not, after all, I'm just trying to do the right and ethical thing.

Feel free to comment, not like anyone is really reading this - but do know that I realize the weight due the comments of my dear wife, and the lessons learned by my children, and the incomparable ethic of God - will be my ultimate guide.

A reckoning

Today, I exhume myself from the mounds of paper that my kids have inundated me with. Actually, I was first. I assigned it, they did it, and now I can't see over the piles of papers to correct.

I always have good intensions. "This is the assignment I'll grade the day it comes in, record it in the gradebook and get it back to the kids." That would be the best practice. It saves me from the piles, but more importantly, the students get the feedback they need in the context of the moment rather than weeks later.

Instead, my day will be spent deciding which assignments to count toward their report card, spending time correcting and giving feedback (the later always suffering when I've put my back against the wall), recording in the gradebook with miniscule writing, filing the assignment for giving back or recycling, and knowing all the while that this is the cycle.

If sounds an awful lot like doing the laundry.

It's the part I like least about teaching.

The reckoning comes in a couple of forms. One, I'll realize just how little many of my kids know or are able to do. One of the best reasons to get on this grading is so I can rescue those kids before all they end up with is an elementary school education. I keep telling myself that, but for some reason it doesn't help motivate me. How horrible of me. The other reckoning will be for some of my knuckleheads that go against the grain and/or don't turn in anything. Their report card, and the subsequent conference will show how little effort they put out. Probably not enough to motivate them toward better behavior and a desire to do more, and better, work. How horrible for them.

And here I am, avoiding it all, as always, by spending the last 45 minutes checking email, reading other blogs, and posting this.

It's grading day. Can't you tell.

Ah to teach again!

It's with nervous anticipation that I announce that I'll once again be in the classroom!

Two days ago I was hired to teach a 4th/5th blended classroom. After more than my share of time spent looking, resumes sent, interviews, and call-backs - I finally found a classroom to call my own again. I'm so happy and excited, yet daunted by the work ahead of me - to get my self and my room ready for kids in just three more days. It was five when I was hired, and it seems I've hardly done anything since then.

So, it's back to work for me - in more ways then one!

Whoo hoo!

Hooky...

I'm sick.

No, not in that way, I mean I'm ill.

OK, I'm not terribly sick, just sick enough to favor a day of not doing much over a day of commuting to downtown Oregon City, walking two blocks, riding an elevator only to walk three more blocks, sitting at my computer all day, attending meetings where the same project deadlines get updated in three different places, walking, riding and walking back to my hot car and fighting traffic back home.

I feel a little guilty. But not much.

Time for a nap.

Work Phrase O' The Day

No matter how hard you try, you can't shine a turd.

Pay Day

It's pay day here at work. The owner writes the checks himself. It's a small (but growing) company.

It's almost quitin' time, but everyone's still here, waiting for their check. As soon as they're delivered, if they're delivered today, everyone will run for the hills. I know I will.

My office is just outside the owner's office and I can't tell you how many people I've seen slink by his closed glass door and glance in (some more subtly than others) to see what he's up to. He ought to be up to writing checks, and everyone knows it. I'm waiting for the least personable employee here to just walk right in and loudly ask, "So, are the paychecks going to write themselves this month or what?"

Money Grubbers.

I think I'll just go knock politely on his door, peek my head in and gently ask, "So, are the paychecks going to write themselves this month or what?"

Drivel

I've found myself neglecting to blog lately because it seems like all I'd be doing is complaining - not that life is all that bad, or that I'm in all that dark of a mood - I just fear I'd turn a bit negative.

The funny story about the sound of my daughter closing dresser drawers in her room, at 6:00am on Father's Day because she had a blowout dirty diaper that she was trying her best to take care of herself - will just have to wait.

The story about aimless meetings and projects left unfulfilled at work - will have to wait too.

The story about how I learned that the goldfish had died - will also have to wait.

Oh, I'm sure I'll get to them - after I've forgotten how boring it must be for you to be subjected to such drivel.

And my opinions and angst over things like more beheadings in the middle east, more misinformation over the 9/11 commission findings, less political backbone, and less moral strength - will all have to wait, but not because they're not worthy of my time or effort.

Mind Melt

It seems as though Tuesdays and Wednesdays are turning out to be marathon meetings at my current job. Forget actually working, talking about working is enough it seems.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good, productive, meaningful meeting as much as the next drone, and I even like meetings that are just about 'nothing' but coming together as a team - but when one meeting turns into another, or a meeting spirals out of control and what should be a five minute pointed discussion rambles on for 20 minutes, I just feel like I'm suffocating!

It's days like these, spent doing what I'm doing for the 'right now' - that what I'm really meant to be doing, my calling, feels far away, adrift and intangible.

At least I can take meaningful notes...




... and escape a little early when I just can't take it anymore.

Not-So-Dummy Text

I recently inserted the following dummy text into a document I'm working on.

If you're reading this optional text, you're probably only interested in the way this document looks or behaves, not in how the actual content (real or imagined) impacts (positively or negatively) your life. You're simply trading eight hour increments of your life for monetary sustenance so you can have the things you and your family think you want and/or need). They call that making a living, not making a life. Please enjoy the rest of the document.

Can you tell I really want to be at work today? Does that make me an ungrateful ogre?

The Quick and The Dead

I'm writing this post during a network outage at work. Seems as though we've been cut off from the internet, and our own internal servers - leaving most of us to figure out what to do.

Like most, I've; played solitare, cleaned my desk, played pinball, and listened to CDs. I've organized my inbox, desktop files, eaten chocolate covered raisins, and talked on the phone. I've seen the actual weather outside, debated with co-workers on whether or not the entire internet has gone down or we're just cut off, dinked around on my PocketPC, gingerly harrassed the IT guy who's working on the situation, and watched those around me aimlessly exist.

Evidently, we have access to our SQL database once again. I'll try to do some actual work now, but I have a feeling I'll be back to this post soon...

...OK, I was able to squeeze in about 45 minutes of worthwhile work in the database. Now what? I'm sure I'd have a better idea if I wasn't so far down the dangerously steep learning curve. Sometimes I beat my head on my desk because I feel like I have short-term memory loss when it comes to this job and other times I sit back in my chair and feel the warmth of blissful ignorance.

Time

Why is it that mornings fly and afternoons drag?

Shades of Pooh Bear

When asked a question recently a new co-worker replied, "I don't know why I'm thinking... it's not even something that's in my head."

Hypnotised by technology

I think I may have just experienced hypnosis by technology while sitting in a training session where new technology (new to me at least) was being taught to me. Suddenly, my eyes began to droop, time slowed to a crawl and I may have even began talking like a chicken.

Just thought you'd like to know.

I wish I had an answer.

I have plenty of excuses. Some of those might actually be reasons. None result in an answer.

I been busy OK? Subbing is a bit of a rollarcoaster; Job or no job? Wee morning call or prearranged assignment? If a job comes my way - does it end in an ugly day or a lovely day? Is there a plan waiting for me or am I treading shark {kid} infested waters? Is the plan a series of post it notes or is it a long winded diatribe about every little thing? The point is, when you're a teacher, every day is different - when you're a substitute teacher, every day is different and then some.

I've experienced some of the best classrooms in the best schools, and the next day I'm being called every foul name in the book. I've had days where everyone is working independently and efficiently self managing themselves, and I've had days where five adults can only watch while a student locks themselves in an office and goes ape. Some systems have an incredible amount of structure in place (some may say too much) and some systems have a 'hands off' approach leaving students without a clue as to appropriate behavior. Some schools are academically rigorous and others go through the motions.

Meanwhile, my daughter continues to amaze us with her development. She tests our boundaries and our patience at times, but she really is a beautiful human being. I stand in awe of my wife, wishing I could give her so much more help, support, praise, time, things she wants and things she needs. In some ways, our season of life is about surviving, but I resolve to help us grow still closer as well.

Something Interesting to Say

I wish I had something interesting to say. I don't.

Actually, I've had a real doozy of a couple of weeks, complete with a job offer that I took, a job offer that I turned down because I took the first job offer, and the falling through of the first job offer. Long story short, there are some people in this world who are two faced, selfish, liars who'd rather save face than do the right thing. They deal in confusion, miscommunication and politics. Should that surprise me, probably not. Should that cause me to treat the world with an air of distrust, probably.

Don't get me wrong. I still want to believe that people have a great potential for good. Unfortunately, all too many fall well short of their potential.

During the last few weeks however, I've leaned heavily upon people who are good, and honest, and supportive. There ought to be more people like that. People who do what they say. Who's 'yes' mean yes and who's 'no' mean no. People who are balanced. Luckily, I have people in my life like that. People who are not afraid of doing the right thing.

Angst...

I'm blogging from outside a coffee shop in my hometown, sipping on a hot chocolate and enjoying the internet without wires. I'll probably only be able to do this for a little while longer since I have to turn this laptop in soon. Maybe I can convince my wife to let me get one for our family... ;-) The coffee shop is just down from a Blockbuster Video - they must make money hand over fist, because there has been a constant stream of people in and out of there just in the few minutes I've been sitting here.

I'm also in a suit and tie. On summer break, in 75 degree weather, but all duded up following an interview this morning. I'm in angst because I really have no idea how I did. Usually, I have a good idea - even though most of the time I'm wrong. I'd think I did great, blew their socks off, but they end up going with someone else... or I go in not caring one way or another, give the answer that I really want to give rather than the one I think they want to hear, and boom, I've got the job. Today, I couldn't tell you one way or the other. They made me wait for a half hour, but I was pleasant none-the-less. I answered their questions with sincerity, honesty, and enthusiasm. I tried not to talk too much, but give complete answers. I looked them in the eye, but not so much as to give them that uncomfortable feeling. But... I really don't know. Maybe that's a good sign, maybe it's not. I think my really wanting the position is contributing to my confusion. Maybe I really am just a dolt.

Those I told, I told not to get too worked up over it. Not to hang too much in the balance. But here I am, worked up and 'overly hopeful'. I have to remember that God will take care of me and my family, as He always has, and always will. I just don't want to make the job any harder than it is.

"Who cares!"

I have CNN on in the background as I work. I'm a glutton for punishment I guess. I should get a bumper sticker for my chair that says, "I'd rather be watching FOX News".

All these CNN dolts seem to be able to talk about is Hillary Clinton's book. All I seem to be able to say in response is "Who cares!" The professional talking heads keep bringing on these no-name talking heads to spout about it. They're comparing it to Barbara Bush's book, they're reading excerpts, they're talking sales, yadda, yadda, yadda... WHO CARES!

Oh, there's a surprise... they've managed to break the nausea with the news of Martha Stewart's law troubles. Again... all together now... WHO CARES!

This day is sounding alot like a joke about "Two dumb blondes..." - the punch line evidently is "one gets a book deal and the other gets jail time".